I think Joseph’s contribution to the Christmas story is both crucial and very underrated. Let’s take a look at Jesus’ birth narrative, written by Matthew, from Joseph’s perspective.

Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. (Mt 1:18, ESV).

When it comes to marriage, our culture is familiar with engagements and weddings, but both Matthew and Luke tell the reader that Mary and Joseph were betrothed. In the Jewish culture, betrothal came after a “time of mutual commitment”[1] (engagement). Then the groom (or his father) brought a mohar,[2] also known as the “bride price.” This is similar to a dowry but paid to the bride’s father. If her father found the value of the mohar acceptable, the couple exchanged vows and were considered legally married.

After the betrothal, the bride-to-be remained in her father’s house, and the groom returned to his father’s home. There he began to build an additional room to house himself and his bride. Anywhere between a month and a year later, when the room was completed, the groom returned for his bride and the wedding ceremony was conducted.

(Notice how Jesus’ words spoken in the following verses reflect the actions of the groom: In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also (John 14:2-3). Jesus is the bridegroom and we the church are his bride!)

Joseph was a good man, and he loved Mary. Imagine the devastation he experienced when he learned Mary was pregnant. But even though he felt betrayed by his future bride, (for how else would she become pregnant other than unfaithfulness?), he did not want harm to come to her. He did not demand she be stoned as was allowed in the Law (Dt 22:20-21), but because they were legally married, a divorce was necessary.

This left Joseph with three options:

Divorce her publicly. This would likely take place at the city gate, where legal decisions were made. In this way, the husband could recoup his mohar (which he’d need to secure another bride), and publicly state his innocence regarding the paternity of the child.

Divorce her quietly. Rather than publicly announcing his wife’s unfaithfulness, a husband could gather two or three men to serve as witnesses as he wrote out a bill of divorce. This was originally the option that Joseph chose: And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly (Mt 1:18, ESV).

Joseph didn’t choose this option because it would benefit him the most, but because it would be better for Mary. By choosing this option, Joseph would not have the opportunity to state his innocence and the mohar would not be returned. He’d have to start saving up all over again, and find a bride willing to marry a man who’d been betrothed previously. This option cost Joseph something, emotionally and financially, but spared Mary from more public disgrace.

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet:       “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel,” which means, God with us.” (Mt 1:19-24)

Marry her. This was the option Joseph did not even consider, at least not at first. If Joseph took Mary as his wife, everyone would assume that he was the father of her child. Because that is the only reason a man in that culture would ever marry a pregnant woman.

When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus (Mt 1:25).

Imagine, out of all the men in Israel, God found Joseph the best qualified to raise His Son. What an honor for Joseph, and what a challenge! Look at what Joseph has already gone through, and Jesus hasn’t even been born yet. But Joseph knew that obedience to God was more important than the rumors of men. He knew that the place to find contentment is within God’s will.[3]

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[3] Lisa Lewis Koster, Enough: Finding Contentment in a World of Wanting and Wandering (Grand Rapids, MI: Credo House Publishers, 2023) 163. www.amazon.com/dp/B0CLL1847D

[1] https://free.messianicbible.com/feature/ancient-jewish-wedding-customs-and-yeshuas-second-coming/ accessed 10 Dec 2025.

[2] https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/ancient-jewish-marriage/ accessed 10 Dec 2025.